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Ten mental health tools to help deal with toxic people and family: ugh!


Greetings, I am Queen B.Divine and welcome to Blooming May , get toxic things away. So, I want to bloom a new idea, giving you, after every blog, 10 mental health tips to help you throughout your week or even the month, as long as you need them. Also, to share conversation and to know that you're never alone in any situation. Always reach out if you need help.



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So, welcome to the Cures of Conversation Extras, where I'm gonna give you 10 insights to help you move away from toxic people, family, or friends. I have lived it. It's not something that I wonder about, and it was very difficult to walk away from family at a very young age and go through the journey of healing and breaking karmic curses, so to speak, and really learning and walking towards my purpose, which is being a healer. And part of that was healing myself and walking away from toxicity and creating a new way and a new energy within me to connect to so I can be the healer that I was meant to be.


So let's start with setting boundaries. I can't say that I set boundaries with my family. I couldn't, I was a kid. But I did know how far my body wanted to go, how it did not like being beaten with extension cords, pieces of wood, a fist, or by my siblings. I didn't like watching violence, people putting batteries in socks and beating the crap out of each other, people just trying to choke each other. That was a boundary for me physically. I knew my body could not handle that. So setting boundaries for me was to leave the situation. And as a child, that was the only power that I had. But as an adult, we can do better by speaking our truth.


And this is what is so powerful about the month of May, is speaking your truth. That is a powerful way to set your boundaries. To tell people that I don't like this. Now you've given the option for them to respond. And if you do not like their response, and they continue to treat you in the way that you have spoken about that you don't like, now you have the power and the choice and the freedom to walk away.

So remember, setting your boundaries doesn't always just mean speaking, which is very important. But as a child, in a childlike manner, you're welcome to leave a situation that is not healthy for you. And another thing that I found for me, but it's done in stages, is limiting contact with that which is toxic.


Now, as a child, that was something that was challenging for me because at one point, the neighbor helped me, and I lived right above my mother's home. So the contact was, I was always there. And finally, when I left to go in group homes, I had no contact with them. And my life thrived. So, but it starts with limiting contact. I don't think that you should have contact with anything that's toxic. That's no point. You're going to get sick eventually. It's just slower accumulation. So I believe limiting contact is good to begin the process of completely eliminating contact.


I am, you know, a lot, I can hear someone say, but what if they change? You need to go back. That is a decision that you have to make on your own. I found that sometimes life wants you to move on. And you have to have the courage to do that.


Another thing for me that, as a child, it didn't necessarily look like it, but it was the way I did it was when I left my childhood home at 11, that was me seeking support. So the next one on the list of my tips to move away from toxic people is seeking support. And the way I seek, I was looking for support was I left that family structure, that support structure, thus allowing none other in the universe to come in and help me, which was my neighbor, and continue that help, which was the group homes and Catholic Children's Aid.


And you know, one thing that, another thing, this was hard, and it took me a long time to do it. And this is why I am working towards opening a wellness center. It's a dream of mine because I know healing. I know the transparency, the truth of healing. And I wanna share that healing with those who need it. Part of healing is self-care.


And when I tell you practicing self-care is difficult because we always find a way to go around it and justify why someone else's needs are more important than others. When in truth, if we do not till the soil of our own spirit and connect, give us time to recuperate, we become useless in our healing journey, becoming the healer. And the experience becomes very daunting and tiring. If you take time each and every day to really take care of yourself, you will become more powerful in your own life.


And that is the one thing to help you walk away from toxic people. Toxic people don't like you taking care of yourself. They don't understand it. They want you, they're very narcissistic. They want you to be with them. They don't know, know, know. And when you take care of yourself, you're shining light without even knowing it. And sometimes that light will be very uncomfortable for those who want to remain in darkness by not taking care of themselves. Because it's their way of dealing with it. So self-care is very precarious. Because sometimes you're like, well, I don't want to take care of myself because, because, because, because, because. And you know, it's my job and I have to blah, blah, blah. Remember, you are the reason why things work. And if you stop working, taking care of yourself, you cannot help others. So remember, you are the nucleus in your life. People need you.


So taking care of yourself is very important. And it's something that I have come very accustomed to. And I feel absolutely no guilt in taking care of myself.




And self-care doesn't always mean you're in a fabulous rainbow, you know, flowers coming your button mood. Self-care also means that you're just in, you're really taking on the mental health, the emotions of the day head on. You're dealing with them. And you're learning to prioritize your needs so you can be more productive to others. And you're dealing with issues. And then all these issues are beautiful. Sometimes they're straight out just nasty. Self-care is also being able to deal with these issues without creating more of a karmic bondage for others. So self-care, it means just, you know, getting mad, kicking now, being real, doing what you've got to do, allowing emotions to flow through you without trying to judge them or justify them. Remember that. And I truly know that is such a healthy way of looking at life.

Number five for me, I translate this one into also journal writing, which is mean this one, it's the new way of thinking, positive affirmations. I can't say I did positive affirmations when I was a kid. I can't say that. I can't, I like, no. But I do remember writing in a journal wanting a better life, dreaming of what I think I should have in my


life and feeling that love in that journal. You know, I wish I could do this. And that was my form of positive affirmations. Really writing down or even making a mental picture of what you're dreaming of. What do you want to achieve once you get out of this toxic energy? What motivates you to get out of this toxic energy? What is it that you cannot do in this toxic energy that you choose to do once you're free? Speak that into existence.


Well, join me next week for the next five mental health tips on toxicity. I'll probably be posting them something somewhere on Wednesday, but just stay abreast of the situation. I'm gonna continue on in keeping the cure is the conversation extra notes, just so it can help you on your day. Until then, please support my page because I am looking forward to having this wellness center. Become a subscriber and just check back. Purchase a wonderful mantra from tour, you know, a tourist mantra, 30 day calendar. That's also helpful. Help you plant that seed of a positive mindset. So check that out. It's just below. Check it out. One love and stay take care of you.




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